Temp vs Doley

The lull over the last few days is, unfortunately, not a result of me finding gainful employment. No, it's more a mixture of laziness, dull repetition and the simple fact that one of the highlights of last week was putting up an Ikea CD tower thing without any damage, any swearing or any monumental mistakes. Hardly relevant to job-hunting but a minor success nonetheless.

Friday morning brought a phone call from a very chirpy temp agency person who had received my CV. A few of my friends and a family member all work for a well-known financial services company nearby, so when I came back to the UK in December I passed on a copy of my CV to a friend who said she'd send it to the right person. The right person finally got back to me last Monday and we had a chat about what kind of job I was looking for and what salary I was expecting. The best they could offer was an admin job that paid shitepence a year and sounded like the first stage in a downward spiral that could only end with headlines like 'Workplace Rampage.' Alternatively, I could do the same job on a temporary basis, so I agreed and asked that my CV be sent to the agency. Hence the phone call.

I made an appointment and went into see them that very day. I had used a temp agency just after I graduated and don't remember there being that much to the registration process. Things have clearly changed. The first step was a twelve or thirteem page form that covered every address I'd had for the last five years, every employer, my bank details, declarations that I hadn't committed genocide or some such crime and two or three pages of densely-typed confidentiality contracts. After finishing this I then had a face-to-face interview with a different, but equally chirpy agency person who asked me for proof of identity and address. I gave her my passport and my mobile phone bill. The passport was dandy but unfortunately the only proof of address acceptable is either a bank statement or a utility bill (the question of whether a mobile phone should be counted as a utility is one for another day). Given that I do all of my banking online and that the utility bills for this address are all in my parents' name, it's not something I can come up with quickly. She also told me that before we could go any further she would need to contact my last three employers (all in Japan of course) and get references. They also need a personal reference from someone who isn't a family member or blood relative.

As I left the agency thinking about how I was going to get everything they needed in order to give a temp job that wouldn't challenge a retarded chimp it dawned on me - the process and requirements involved in signing on were far easier than those necessary to get a temp job. The Job Centre copied my passport, glanced at the mobile phone bill and mentioned nothing about personal references or those from past employers. The agency staff explained to me that all the background checks were necessary because I was applying for a job in financial services, which I can understand (although it's hardly as if I'm trying to get a job managing a hedge fund). Still, surely something must be wrong with a system where it's more difficult to get even a simple temp job than it is to sign on?