My rescheduled appointment was today and thankfully I had no contact with the evil bitch from Hell who set about me last week when I was a few minutes late. Mind you, I think the people who run the job centre must know about this blog as yet again they provided me with some fantastic material for these posts.The first man I spoke to there was called ... wait for it ... Ronald MacDonald (you can see from the picture just how welcoming he was). Feel free to make your own jokes at Ronnie's expense - I'm sure he's heard them all before but if anyone can come up with something original, answers on a postcard to the usual address. Next up was not The Hamburgler but a very pleasant woman who, unless I'm very much mistaken, actually had a sense of humour. I'm not sure how she got through the screening process humouro intacto, but it proves that it can be done. Spent about half an hour with her detailing what I'm doing to find work (didn't mention the blog) and then went off on my merry way into yet another miserable January afternoon.
As far as the nine million applications I've made so far it's been more of the same. I was quite impressed by one rejection so I'll quote it in its entirety:
Thanks for your details. Unfortunately your experience is not right for
this role.
Short and to the point. It makes a change from the usual guff about the quality of the candidates and so on. If only it were possible to write cover letters in a similar style:
I'm fucking ace. I want this job. Here's my CV.
Perhaps this could be the beginning of some kind of recruitment revolution.
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